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floating fetal mumblings of a self disgorged mongoloid embryo
 
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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in GORE's LiveJournal:

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Monday, March 9th, 2009
12:55 am
philisophical art discussion madness!!!
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/2070976/

This is a lengthy discussion I had with multiple people about where I believe certain standards should be held. I realize not everyone shares these standards but I do feel obligated to let them know how important they are to truly appreciate art.

Have a fun time reading.



edit:
Alright so maybe they won't actually throw a fit over me posting such a thing.

STILL... you should read it, and maybe gain better understanding about how I think, and why I have such standards.  You can learn all about the origins of my asshole-ish habits.

Current Mood: awake
Thursday, December 4th, 2008
1:43 am
Lazy Artists and Their Excuses
Artists aren't good liars.

Example:

Lying about overabundant workloads when production remains halted.  When an artist is resented with a social situation (i.e. "hey, do you want to come over and hang out?")  (reply:  "Oh no, I've got tons of work to do.  I'm swamped.  Gotta get this stuff done.)  

It's plainly obvious they are lying.  Until now, the fact of the fabrication has been unable to be proven without legitimate evidence.

Recently I have had the epiphany, its all in presentation.

If an artist is in a slump of poor productivity, their minds are burdened with obligations which will continue to go unhonored out of human laziness.  When presented with the above situation of social interaction, which often might require them to come out of the lazy comfort zone they have been enjoying for so long, they will present their burdening abundance of projects as an excuse to avoid this situation.  They will make it sound depressing, like the whole world is against them.  

How, can they ever be expected to complete these monumental tasks when inconsiderate degenerates such as yourself pester them with tempting offers of "hanging out".  Don't you have ANY idea how busy they are?  Your insipid desires to spend time together pale in comparison to the groundbreaking work they are secretly not doing!

When an artist is lying about having to do their commissions, they will make said commissions sound like a terrible burden. Not only will it excuse them from any other obligations, it will make you feel sorry for them.  Said artist remains lazy and still manages to fool people into thinking they are the busy bee of high end productivity they imagine themselves to be.  The pedestal of accomplishment is so much easier to reach the top of when its in their imagination.

Honesty is also very easy to discern because of the natural way it is presented.  

If an artist has a huge workload, and has genuinely been productive in getting assignments done, they can't help feel happy for themselves and the progress they've made.  If a productive artist is presented with the above situation, they usually tend to be a little less reluctant to dismiss a social interaction, however this is very dependent on the person.  If in fact the artist feels a higher obligation to work rather than spend time with a friend they will certainly not sound depressed when expressing all the things they have done and have to do.  The depressing focus points towards the shortcoming social meeting, rather than the projects of the artist.

As an artist, you feel great when work is done.  When you've been productive it makes you want to share it, the primary method being visually but you won't hesitate to tell someone about something you accomplished, this is once again simple human nature.

When a genuinely productive artist is presented with the situation above and chooses work over the social interaction, the answer is still the same as the unproductive artist, but the presentation is very much different:

(i.e. "hey, do you want to come over and hang out?") (reply:  actually, I'm in the middle of some projects.  I've been getting a lot of stuff done and I'm on a roll.  I'm just going to ride it out and do some more work.)   Their reply is much more positive because they truly have done something to be proud about, and are eager to express these positive sensations as well as a desire to get more done.  


Synopsis:

There are two traits which will be a dead give away to know when someone is lying or telling the truth about productive obligations in general.

- unproductive people have nothing to be proud of and will make things sound so much worse than they are.

- unproductive people often have nothing to show, anywhere, no matter how hard you look.  "Oh your so busy, where the hell is everything you've been doing?"

- productive people have a lot to feel good about and will express things in a much more positive light.

- productive people often have a vast display of work either in their own gallery, or peppered through the galleries of others.  Their work perpetually gets out there for all to see if you know where to look.


I am very guilty of this method of lying so these are based of personal experience of the exact same nature.  I was able to look back on and realize a repetitive formula in not only myself, but several other artists whom I know.

Everyone reading this, artists especially... I can read you all like a "CAUTION" sign, I know when you are lying to me about your obligations and I silently grow grotesquely disappointed in you as a result.

Current Mood: contemplative and brooding
Wednesday, June 18th, 2008
7:22 pm
New Job, new habbits, new goals
Been another long while since I updated this thing.

About Three months ago I got myself another job which is an even closer step to my perfect career goal.

Right now Im working as an Environment Artist at a game studio in Hollywood.  I model and texture (hand painted) all kinds of various game assets and its absolutely enthralling work.  I get to do something different every few hours so its never boring.  I feel my digital talents are finally being utilized to a very satisfying degree, and the end result should be my mark on a beautiful game.  

The environment I work in is blissfully casual and has many luxurious comforts such as an arcade machine with limitless emulators, free snacking food, bean bags to rest in, an almost non-existant Dress Code, and best of all... NERF WARS!!!  Oh yeah, and Benefits!

------------------

Malice still works at the Starbucks but I'm trying to find her something better, more suited towards her own career goals.

I still love the hell out of that woman.  Our lust and love continue to amplify for each other.

------------------

Califur was a fucking bust, as everyone who was there knows.  I'm just so glad I didn't pay for a room.

-----------------

FC should be VERY great this year.  Im going to get some art show space to show off some of my obscurities.  Span wolf will be doing his Game Industry presentation there once again and hopefully this next time I shall be joining in.

-----------------

My goals are to finish enough illustration artwork to fill two boards for the FC in addition to filling some table space with a sculpture or two.

hopefully my motivation for more tradtional mediums will kick back in soon as I've just been going home after work and playing games before bed.  Ah well, Im sure everything will fall into place.... they always do.

Current Mood: content
Friday, March 28th, 2008
7:36 pm
Words which cause action
I was browsing FA yesterday for some good new porn when I stumbled across a picture with a style I recognized to a specific artist.  This artist however was not at all the person who posted the image.  The person who posted the image may have gotten it as a commission, I'm not sure as the only description for the piece was nothing more than a written synopsis of drawn scene.  There was no acknowledgment this piece was done by someone else. 

I have always felt it wrong to post something you didn't do and not say anything to acknowledge its origins, especially when (retards) start thinking YOUR the one who did it and start complimenting you on it.  I left a comment saying "You should mention the artist's name who did this, I'm sure Jay Dee would greatly appreciate it."  (Jay Dee of course being the artist responsible.)  What better way to stick it to him than to post that not only did he not do it, but to also state THIS person did it?

I was feeling pretty good about stickin' it to the dude.  I see a reply comment in my inbox but alas, the site cannot find the page it is posted on.  GASP!  This must mean he took it down.  HOO HOO!!  What a loser.  He didn't even bother to defend himself or correct his error, he just plain takes the pic down.  I got a simple laugh out of it, but this is not the highlight of our story.

2 hours later I get a note, from the same guy:

  ((( If I did not name the artist is was for a good reason. The artist specifically asked me not to reveal their identity. Since you named names I have pulled the submission. Next time please have the forethought to at least ask before posting such a comment. )))

My Reply:

(((  AAAHHHh haa haaa!

I got a real positive kick out of this. I totally ruined everything for you to the point where you removed everything in your gallery. WOW! Thats some affect I had on you. This really made my day man, thanks for sharing this information with me, it was GREATLY satisfying.

What you could do next time is maybe label the work as a commission and that the artist would like their name withheld. Give a LITTLE credit to some anonymous person rather than just posting something with a description of whats happening in it. Someone actually thought YOU did the picture and THAT is what annoyed me the most, the fact you did not acknowledge this was done by someone other than yourself. )))
 


Through my words I managed to get someone to remove their entire gallery of commission work from FA.

Until the next situation arises, stay tuned.
Same Bat time, same Bat channel

Current Mood: artistic
Sunday, December 30th, 2007
10:31 pm
bi-quarterly update
Been a good 25 weeks since I last posted anything public.  I've been up to many different things and none of them have involved an interest in the online community.  

Back in June I graduated from college with a Bachelors of Science degree in Animation.  Three years and one hell of an education.  Now, all personal biased aside, I had the second most impressive 3D demo reel there.  My hat tips towards the man above, (.......) who is now working at Crazy Bridge Studios.  Ironically with my degree in animation, I have no desire to be an animator.  My The week prior to graduating I started my first job (though it was only a temp position) at Golden Era production as a CG generalist, animating gorgeous 3D scenes.  To make things more interesting this Golden Era Studios is the HUB of all video and digital work done for the church of scientology.  Say what you will but this studio definately knew how to treat you right. 

Every day they had free homecooked buffet style lunch and dinners, with baskets of snack bars available at all times.  Being scientologists they obviously have tons of money which needless to say meant I was getting paid in excess.  It wasn't all good there however.  There were downsides to working at this place.  It was a 90 mile drive one way to get there, but that wasn't too bad considering they gave you a free room at a local hotel.  The work required at least 12 hours a day 7 days a week, which was not a problem for me as I was very used to working without sleeping.  I quit though after three weeks, as the separation anxiety from Malice was too much.  I walked away with a few thousand bucks though.  


Over the next three months between the september through mid october, I did a whole lot of nothing.  I lounged about the house, playing games on my new 360, which was awesome but gave me some really bad carpel tunnel-like sensations after a while.

Durring this time Malice found herself a job as a shift supervisor for a starbucks and is earning much more than her previous job.  She seems to be experiencing a relatively equal amount of job depression as her previous job but thankfully those feelings aren't originating from a similar problem.Metaphorically speaking I played the kid on summer vacation veging out at home while mom went out working to bring home the bacon.

Got a call back from a company I interviewed with 2 months prior, asking if I still wanted a job "hells yeah!"  This happened right at the time of my lethargy where I was REALLY wanting to get back into the grind of work and production.  All things come together beautifully sometimes.

Anyway, now I'm working at a 3D Architectural Rendering studio called Soft Mirage.  You can check out their online portfolio and take a look at what it is I do there, at softmirage.com  Also check out myhylandvillage.com to take a virtual tour of some environments I landscaped.  It's a fucking swank job and I don't even mind the commute everyday.  At least I don't mind it now, I'm giving it a year before I start seriously looking for a job closer to where I live and more game related.  This is a great starting point though right after college and very much related to my portfolio's focus towards digital environments.

To any whom have active commissions with me.  I regret to tell you I will not be completing them.  I will however refund your money completely with a small additional amount as further apologies and thanks for supporting a starving artist at the time.  Once again I am very sorry I lost the motivation to finish the commissions but, employment in the art field with steady income made me realize the insignificance of such petty things burdening my mental obligations.

more to come in the near future... if I can muster the motivation.

Current Mood: hyper
Friday, May 11th, 2007
8:48 pm
Con Report... later
califur report probably coming sometime during the day of may 14th.
HEY, I got shit to do, man!

First I gotta head home and drop off the cunt, then head back here to school where Im going to be spending the night.
Sunday, April 8th, 2007
5:26 am
Happy Easter
... and a well deserved happy birthday to a certain "special" someone...

it is very work safe.

http://www.furaffinity.net/view/485397/

Hopefully Charolatte and I are going to see Grindhouse later today, Spiffalicious ^^!
Thursday, February 22nd, 2007
12:36 pm
art updates

Well her are just three examples of some of the things I have been busting my hump over lately.  These are some of the examples of the reasons some of you are still waiting on your commissions.  Working on these things alone takes up more than 60 hours a week for me.  It should be noted there are at least seven other digital projects I'm working on at the same time and of the same level of quality.




and here is a link to a render of that tree house project which is 95% complete


Current Mood: energtic
Wednesday, February 14th, 2007
10:47 am
An act I'll never do again
I was playing with things which maybe I should have not played with a little while ago.  Charolatte confessed to me what her devious desires are, as she already knows all of mine I wanted to know all of hers.  Let me be the first to say they seemed a tad on the morbid side when she first told me.  HA HA, not that such a thing was at any moment a problem!  Flaying was one of her stronger fantasies; however one which could be done within erotic reality was slicing her thigh open.  We sterilized a scalpel shaped exacto knife and she let me have my way with her. 

    I was quick to get comfortable with the situation, a little too comfortable.  She requested I slice deeper than what I thought would have been enjoyable for her.  Being the good boy I am I did as I was told and brought down heavier, deeper strokes with the blade.  I was creating a nice series of deep slices, focusing on one as a primary and making the blade sink deeper each time.  I was thinking this was pretty cool how I’m finally able to slightly mutilate someone. 

    I moved down to the side of her calf where I experimented more with the ways of cutting.  I tried carving shapes into her flesh, and she kept on writhing in painful ecstasy in front of me.  As I brought down a heavy stroke, I witnessed, heard, and felt her skin split open along the earmarked lines of previous cuts.  I saw the epidermis split open (about an inch in length) like a gash exposing the fatty under layers. 

I felt at that moment a sense of mortifying dread and fear as she gasped and seemingly relished the sensation.  I had just seriously wounded my love and though she enjoyed it… I could not think past my actions.  I don’t think I have ever felt such a combination of particularly negative emotions before in my life.  I felt like I had betrayed myself and the one I unconditionally loved.  I felt I had just intentionally and maliciously reigned harm down upon my own pet.  I was horrified at what I had just done to her.  

She did not like the look in my eyes at all as she had no wish to make me fearful like that.  She assured me everything was alright and evem though theses were the deepest cuts she had ever had, everything was going to be ok.  Everything was okay.  There was a lot of sterilization and proper bandaging and now it’s a minor scar.  Such a varying range in fantasy is a contributing factor in our almost non-existent sex life.

 Heh heh, that makes the whole story seem to have a such a negative ending.  We do not require sex to live as one symbiotic mesh of affection and growing strength.

Current Mood: tired
Wednesday, January 3rd, 2007
8:55 pm
last few days, and then some
New years eve:

Spent most of the day taking care of some portfolio projects.  The day continued from the previous night where I had gotten up from a three hour nap at midnight.  Into the morning and early afternoon I painted many branch textures as foliage cover for a 3D tree house I'm working on for my portfolio.   This was followed by a two hour nap before getting ready to head over to the cub's place to celebrate new years.  Took Charolatte with me there where we enjoyed the frantic entertainment of Zotter's Wii.  Shinannagins unfolded afterwards at Bob's apt. where Katze had a five second period of homosexuality which I believe he thoroughly enjoyed.  Sly and Remmy we're MEATed for the first time at Statik's place as well.  Them good ol' boy country bumpkins are pretty cute when they get their first taste of big city livin, I guarantee.  Charolatte got tipsy towards the end of the evening thanks to Katze giving her one of "his" drinks.  He admits to trying to warm his own cock in my sock, he can try but she has a bear trap in the entrance.

New Years Day:

That was monday right?  Ah well.  Stayed the day and night at Statik's still, with Rocko still there its always a hoot.  We should have had a drawing session at one point but godamnit, everything over there is just too distracting.  Then Soggy paws, the Pillow Pants Pup showed up and many discussions ensued.  Thanks for hosting the bash Phil, we always enjoy ourselves in your hospitality. 

Tuesday:

We left around 4 am, because Charolatte had work at 8:00 and I had to still meet up with Rubbertex Raccoon at 9:30 to head downtown for some furs at the fashion district.  We did this at 11 though, because furries always run behind scheduel, (Im no exception)  We get downtown through some hectic street confusion and some driving mistakes made which proved to be rather fortunate.   Rubbertex and I are cruising the downtown scene, well... he was rolling behind me anyway.  I swear when your an enormous ball rolling and crushing your way through the bronks and you've got your Mohican furend with a Cthulhu boat... people get the hell out of your way.  I swear the raccoon was a godsend, I had such a great time running around with him downtown and finally getting out and doing something rather than just staying at home and working on fucking projects.  It was funny because he and all the fur vendors kept suggesting we go to Blue Moon for their furs, when it was really the place across the street from Blue Moon where we honestly could have gotten ALL the colors he was looking for.  They even had the Royal blue fur... ZOWWY what luck!  We then high tailed it back to my place for a quicke drawing session and a fond farewell... followed by a much needed nap.  I got up around eight, with Charolatte finding a ride home we watched some Ren & Stimpy (thank you very much Noname) and then she put me to sleep around 10 through her givings of attention which induced unconscious euphoria, and yet no bodily fluids were exchanged.  She has such power.

Wednesday:
Got up, took Charolatte to work, fucked around, took a nap, fucked around some more, and now I write this and plan to work on commissions for the rest of the night on into tomorrow morning when I start my new Internship at GRBTV in Sherman Oaks.

Current Mood: In anticipation
Tuesday, November 28th, 2006
12:12 pm
Chainsaw of Critique
I have a gnack for tearing apart work which gets a lot of praise simply out of ignorance of the viewer. I was REALLY inspired by this piece...

http://www.furaffinity.net/view/265891/

... and wrote a length critique about why it doesn't look as interesting as it could. This is the message... and the reply.

Me -

"Your illustration OBVIOUSLY fails to tell the story behind itself so you have to tell us in your comments. This is a prime example of a weak piece of artwork. Story telling is the first and most important thing to focus on when trying to tell it visually. You must never lose sight of what your story might be, otherwise the work will suffer just like this does. If you took away your commentary on your own artwork, you would get people asking left and right “why is she crying?” “why is she crying?” “For fuck’s sake WHY IS SHE CRYING!?”. You see how your piece has just lost ALL substance because the viewer doesn’t know what the story behind it is?

Now lets talk about composition.

It seems as if you really wanted the composition to look boring as all hell when you first started by not only making it a one point perspective piece, but CENTERING the vanishing point right in the goddamn middle of the page. The foreground elements are all on a flat horizontal plane which again makes for a very boring image. Flat ground, flat grass, flat garbage pails, flat bench, there is just such a lack of depth in the foreground which is terrible because this is where you obviously want your focus to be since its where the character is at.

Speaking of the character… Her body language shows no signs of her emotions. She is supposed to be sad right? It looks more like something caused her to have an asthma attack. You depend too much on the tears to show emotion. Hell, even the face is pretty stiff looking. It’s like she suffers from facial paralysis and her tears leak from some kind of zygomatic pore. Tears and upward slanted eyebrows do not make for a sad character in good artwork, good acting and body gesture do.

The buildings in the background look very dull as well and compete with the foreground elements for the viewers focus as they poses the same amount of contrast to them, further adding the overall boring composition of the piece. Perspective is the most crucial thing to get right when doing architecture. Sure you have the perspective in there, but as I said before it’s in the most uninteresting position. Buildings will visually fall apart when you draw them at such an angle for anything more than a practice sketch.

What kind of tree looks like that? All the branches jut out of the top in a perfect crown formation, and the tree just STOPS immediately after. You’ve got tiny little branches which make the top width of the tree no more than 6 ft in diameter. There you have that entire thick base and nothing on top to make use of it. Form follows function, if the base is as big as you have illustrated it would be a fairly large tree with a large number of branches veining outwards grandiosely

To sum up everything in a very blunt paragraph of artistic annihilation, you spent 60 hours on this piece for all the wrong reasons. You started out with a good idea but a bad composition and went with it. You took this bad composition and developed it, merely adding more and more detail to try and mask up the bland feel of the piece. You probably spent an hour of development and then 59 additional hours adding unnecessary detail which not only ended up making the piece look worse, but in no way added to the feelings you wanted to convey with the image. My recommendations for you would have to be brushing up on your conceptual development and not just going with the first idea which pops into your mind. You should thumbnail out at least 12 initial compositional concepts before picking one to go with. People have been praising this piece left and right but where you see praise I merely see artistic ignorance. I feel you wasted a large amount of time on something which looks flat and boring as all hell. You’d get fired immediately after turning this in if it were for a job."







Them -

" Hello Mr. "I know everything about art and my view is the only one counting". I am always open for critiques of any kind, and I already had comments on this image, telling about only bad things, not mentioning that they like something on it - and they were still meaningul comments. Your comment on the opposite is just self-centered blabbering, you think you have the best knowledge of art of all people. I see, someone who draws images where some kind of a demon pulls his tongue into the downer regions of a woman must really be an art-pro. I have never seen such a lot of meaningless complaining on my art than your one, and over the years, I clearly got the knowledge to seperate between good critiques and self-centered complaints without an end. You wasted your time yelling at me, this image is a good one - since the BEST drawers I know gave me good support for it. They said - as I know clearly - it is not the best image on earth, I know it, but the loads of time and work payed off. These genious drawers told me I did a good job, it was worth the time, as well as everyone did as you recognized obviously. So I don't give a shit on your preferances, there are two possible reasons for your complaints here: Either it is totally the opposite of the art you like, or you are just jealous like hell. Since you wrote such a long comment, I suspect you to make me know of your thinkings on this. Don't try to tell me this would be a bad image, I know it is not. You can discuss with me about every crap, but your complaints about MY ART are useless. Your stuff isn't really the greatest thing to me either, but I wouldn't ever dare to tell, something isn't art. Your stuff is not well working for everyone, but it is art to the ones who like it. Your comment is a bad one, endless complaining isn't useful for anything. You wasted my worthy time with that comment."




First reply to them -

I'm not at all self-centered. I DO know many things about successful artwork, and when I see something significantly less professional getting monstrous amounts of praise, I desire to let the artist and the viewers know what the level of skill and aesthetic context are. This does not mean my work is at all a good example of professional work, no. The knowledge I have about artwork stems from dealing with the professionals who have jobs in the American industry. Since your obviously European of some sort, your "genius'" might have that as a basis for their opinions. American industry standards are much more crucial when it comes to something catching the viewers eye immediately. I base my critique upon general standards and leave all biased opinions out of the mix. Sure I could have said some nice things about your art but I felt everyone else pretty much did that for me, and then some. Don't get me wrong, you implemented a lot of good techniques into the image, however as I stated those techniques did little to your aid if they were made upon an already visually weak layout. perhaps now you can appreciate my words and what I'm trying to tell you a little more. Or would you rather just get the blind praise and continue seeing my critique as an attack to be ignored?




Them -

I don't see your "critiques" as good ones, because they possible go too far in direction of industry. Who ever said this should be something I wanna earn money with? This piece of art is only for the intention to make me and my viewers happy, with something looking very good. Obviously it does. That is why all the other are praising it, because I did it for my and their liking. They would almost ignore the image, if I did it for industrial meanings. So I think I got it, why you wrote so bad. I wouldn't have wanted to do it in a way that it works with your industrial view. You know, I am an artist, I draw and do other creative things in my free time, it's my hobby. If I anyway would like to follow industrial points, I couldn't, since I don't know them. I actually currently do a graphics apprenticeship, there I should learn this - but this apprenticeship sucks like nothing else, it will be good for NOTHING when I will have it finished. I only live with that because of my knowledge, I got by my hobbies.
But also these are already good. Just recently, I came to a working deal with a company, only because of exactly THIS image!They are industry, but like it very much!
You must be honest: Sure my art (as this image) wouldn't work in all ways, but it is usable art for industrial meanings. I know there are issues in the planning, the visualisations of image parts, but since now I can follow your points, I still don't agree with most of them. I simply guess, me and the other people see this image in a completely different view than you do, and since what you say on it will not make it change much, you should nevermind the image. It is my style, it worked for a long time - also keep in mind, it is my hobby, even if it will never get to work in industrial meanings, as in a possible future job, I don't care about if it won't do. I don't even assume it, that it will do. Since classic drawing isn't used that much in industry, especially not the manga-like one like I do use.

As last statement, I would prefer if you don't call me less professional or something. I don't need someone to tell me that to know, since I am no pro in industry - I am also no pro in hobby drawing, but I am coming closer to this. I don't wanna really draw in my later job, it should stay as my hobby. So no needing of comparing these things. I have done some industrial images already, if you would give me your opinion on these ones, I would accept it. I have none of them online, since, as I said, people on such a site wanna see exciting art, not industrial visualisation. And I might say, that is what my image is.

In my reply.. I feel I must convey a certain level of respect for them and their objective thinking which would be tainted by biased opinions by most other people.





******************


Now am I really losing my grips on what makes good art? I know my own art lacks a large number of elements which would make them more interesting, but this shouldn't mean I cant go around telling other people their own work also lacks those elements does it? Or does this mean this person is just to benumbed by my harsh critique to fully understand the substance behind it? Seriously people, help me out here.

Current Mood: confused
Thursday, November 16th, 2006
7:14 am
am I a bad person? ^^;
I was telling Charolatte earlier yesterday about something which happened to my friend and I in highschool. This is a true story about the cold person I truly am, and it entertained me so much when thinking back to it, I just had to share it with you. For all those who I haven't already told this story to, enjoy.

My best friend Jerry and I were walking towards the highschool auditorium for a mandatory school pep rally one afternoon. As we're mocking the notion of said event someone crosses our path, and leaves a VERY lasting impression. Some lanky mexican intersects our immenent path of travel and suddenly gets an odd jostle to his walk. Suddenly he falls to the ground like a heavy dump would thud against the porcelain. In mid fall we notice a heavy trail of whitened saliva escaping from his mouth. Juttering on the ground he begins to convulse violently while his eyes have rolled back in his head. The guy was having a seizure right in front of us. Since we were slowly taking our time in our initial journey, most everyone else had gotten to the auditorium ahead of us about 300 ft. We were the only ones who had noticed what just happened to this greasy brownie.

Having our curiosity peeked we take a few steps closer to the young lad who has started foaming at the mouth by now. Not being medical proffessionals, we arent really sure what we should do. Very mutually and in perfect unision, I guess we unconsiously agreed to a speciffic course of action which seemed to be the most logical and objective thing reasonable for this situation. We pointed and laughed at him. Yes, dear Rita, My friend and I stood over a boy who was having a seziure and did nothing but laugh and point at his dilema. We stood there laughing at him until he, by his own means, came out of it and awoke to a distorted world. Brushing himself off he started walking towards the auditorium again with an exceptionally dazed expression. From this day foward, we had gained something new to laugh at.

Please, be gracious and share with me your thoughts regarding the situation which I described.

Current Mood: cheerful
Thursday, November 2nd, 2006
4:25 pm
A lot has happened since last I posted something. I moved my ass to the hood! I’m living in Baldwin Park as a metaphor for a grain of salt in a sea of pepper. Its alright, Im sharing a one bedroom with Charolatte, my significant udder. Few roaches here and there but no big deal.

For the past five weeks I’ve been spending night after sleepless night working more diligently than ever on projects towards my graduation demo reel to showcase my visual arts work. My focus now for my reel will be environmental design. Digital mediums will be the showcase medium of choice. ANYWAY! FUCK, like I said I’ve been pulling my week long all nighters again and its been easier than normal. I believe a main contribution to my constant productivity and mental stimulation has been my lack of the internet at my new household. I’ve been doing really well without that godamn burden and distraction in my home. Unfortunately since midterms ended this week, I was feeling a little secure and ordered it so you guys should be seeing more of me after next Tuesday. This is all irrelevant!

Something has been happening to me lately. I’ve been in such a constant production oriented mindset, its starting to affect my thoughts outside of this work related religion. In the rare instance I’ve allowed myself to get sleep, which is only Saturday night and Tuesday night, I’ve noticed my work has managed to seep into my subconscious. I often dream of working on my digital environments. I see my 3d layouts before me and I imagine ways of optimizing them to a new level of efficiency, only to awake and find out no work has gotten done, that I’ve only been dreaming of working on my projects.

This morning, Charolatte crawled into bed with me after I laid down for my hour and a half sleep. From what I interpreted after waking up and thinking back, I believe I was massaging her belly to her great satisfaction as I slept. She was enjoying it very much but I believe in my subconscious I was imagining my hand dragging a mouse across its soft cushy pad, once again, optimizing the project I was working on only an hour before.

I haven’t been drawing much at all lately because of the overabundance of focus I have to dedicate towards all this 3d shit. I really am missing it. Though I am in complete control of my actions so I cant really be saying such things like “I wish I could” because I fucking can. I think I will really try to motivate myself to draw some stuff soon. Im sure many of you are thinking, “Oh yay, my commissions! ^^” not exactly. I haven’t drawn for myself in so long. I will always be an artist before a salesman. Your commissions have waited this long, they can wait a little bit more.

I’ve been missing a lot of people lately. Anyone want to hang out over a weekend perhaps? Please!? I needs it! Or at least give me a call, for fuck’s sake I’ve called most of you leaving a message and I get an audio void as a response!

OY! FUCK! I think Im just agitated. Help me ease my pain! Give me some socializing my commerades!

Current Mood: FUCKING BORED!
Wednesday, September 27th, 2006
3:05 pm
artistic bickering and an in depth critique
GORE says:
maybe you could enlighten me why this seems to be so popular amongst furs and other artists? This variant form of 3d art which involves nothing more than a pose, and an alteration. A shave and a hair cut, if you will.

uriel_sonia@yahoo.com says:
It's just different

uriel_sonia@yahoo.com says:
thats all art is, you can make the same character over and over again, but if you use imagination a pose can go along way. Thats why I put the ladies in fighting poses and portiats

GORE says:
indeed it is

GORE says:
too right

uriel_sonia@yahoo.com says:
so, why were you so hard on me for doing something different?

GORE says:
and how do you personally go about altering the model?

GORE says:
oh I'll get to that

GORE says:
that was an anatomical issue, not an artistic issue

GORE says:
well... heh heh, maybe slightly artistic

GORE says:
I have curiosity towards your ways, I seek to have my curiousity satisfied, thats all

GORE says:
just a friendly chat, brain pick, yadda yadda

GORE says:
such as your background as an artist

uriel_sonia@yahoo.com says:
so this has nothing to do with you being an asshole?

GORE says:
why do think Im an asshole? because Im not politically correct? because Im blunt and to the point? Because I dont like to waist anyone's time, especially my own? Because Im honest ? hmmmm?

uriel_sonia@yahoo.com says:
oh no
GORE says:

look if you want to harbor a grudge about what was said about your art, by all means go ahead.

uriel_sonia@yahoo.com says:
I like that someone is a critic of my work

uriel_sonia@yahoo.com says:
but, don't push that "I'm better than you in so many ways" bit. I never think that someone is better in what they think is good or bad.

GORE says:
if thats how I sounded I apologize

GORE says:
its not what I objectively meant

uriel_sonia@yahoo.com says:
yes

uriel_sonia@yahoo.com says:
you did

uriel_sonia@yahoo.com says:
that the only reason I've been calling you an asshole

GORE says:
look, I apologized. What more do you wish to quell this distasteful smite you have against my critique?

uriel_sonia@yahoo.com says:
Look, if you don't like my work fine, just move along. If you put your two cense in don't make it seem like your better that that person, make them judge what they think is good or bad. Thats all.

GORE says:
good and done

GORE says:
I critique only in hopes of helping the artist to improve themselves

GORE says:
however

GORE says:
my critique stems from the teachings of my mentors

uriel_sonia@yahoo.com says:
.......

GORE says:
I went to a rather harsh school compared to most

GORE says:
so unfortunately, my methods are gravely looked down upon

uriel_sonia@yahoo.com says:
and mine my imagination, you should try that a little more

GORE says:
yours your imagination, what do you mean?

uriel_sonia@yahoo.com says:
thats my teacher and mentor

GORE says:
because we cannot hope to learn too much from ourselves

GORE says:
in many instances yes we can
uriel_sonia@yahoo.com says:
than break away from yout mentor and try something yourself

GORE says:
but in this case, come on. There is far too much distraction in the world for a normal person to sit down and thoroughly improve their artistic talents with no outisde input

GORE says:
I am in no way dependant on my mentors

GORE says:
I look to them for guidance

GORE says:
most everything else is my own concepts which have been molded into all they can be from the teachings

GORE says:
using the techniques which have been proven to work

uriel_sonia@yahoo.com says:
and are you proud of it?

GORE says:
never

GORE says:
because I know I can always do better the next time

uriel_sonia@yahoo.com says:
thats all I wanted to know

GORE says:
I do not boast my work as superior or as work which should be looked upon for reference

GORE says:
I am no master

uriel_sonia@yahoo.com says:
nor I

GORE says:
good

GORE says:
but dont you see the both of us could still be improving ourselves

uriel_sonia@yahoo.com says:
but, break free of what you think is proving and makr your on style

uriel_sonia@yahoo.com says:
thats what I did

GORE says:
we as artists are as good as dead if we are satisfied with where we are at currently, just the same as when we dont allow the suggestions and views of outside viewers affect us
uriel_sonia@yahoo.com says:
true

GORE says:
well if art is only seen by the artist, its just masturbation

GORE says:
it speaks nothing about your true skills if it is not seen by others

GORE says:
you could be the greatest artist in the world but if you do your art only for yourself... what kind of artist are you?

uriel_sonia@yahoo.com says:
there you do again

GORE says:
uh huh...

GORE says:
I speak in metaphors and examples

GORE says:
but do not terry from the subject at hand

uriel_sonia@yahoo.com says:
look, I did this because of the way I some artists my big characters, so I did it with a spin, I put them in 3D form, and I proud of that, I know they can look better but please don't say that I just did them because I needed something to masturbate to. After I do them I put them in a folder and never see them again until someone wants to see that pic again.

uriel_sonia@yahoo.com says:
so that comment you were so talking out of your ass.

GORE says:
duuuuude

GORE says:
I never meant you masturbated to them

GORE says:
it was a metaphor

GORE says:
artistic masturbation

GORE says:
doing artwork only you will see and not sharing it with the world

GORE says:
do you see how you can often misinterpret things I say?

uriel_sonia@yahoo.com says:
then please put it in ways that use "simple" people can understand

GORE says:
fine then, I will try to speak in ways you can better understand
((((:edit: in other words, "I will try to dumb down my speech so you as a simpleton can understand it.))))

GORE says:
so if you've done models from scratch, why wouldnt you show them to anyone?

uriel_sonia@yahoo.com says:
remember what you said about "you can do better the next time"?

GORE says:
ah, too right

GORE says:
too right

uriel_sonia@yahoo.com says:
right

GORE says:
one more question I would of course have is your reference for anatomy?

uriel_sonia@yahoo.com says:
like were did I get the idea to make them look this way?

GORE says:
no no

GORE says:
I understand the desire for them to be so enormous

GORE says:
I question the placement and accuracy of the muscle structure

GORE says:
I have no problem with muscle being that big

GORE says:
but as long as their in the right place and look like they were somewhat realistically
formed, if they were to grow that big

uriel_sonia@yahoo.com says:
hold on

uriel_sonia@yahoo.com says:
take a look at this

uriel_sonia@yahoo.com says:
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/231537/

uriel_sonia@yahoo.com says:
first tell me the reason you hate it and the reason you "might" like it.

GORE says:
I dislike it because its too monochromatic, the colors make it look flat and I cant really rell whats going on in all that dark area. The muscles are coliding into each other because the rig obviously wasnt meant for such great distortion in the model. Her left arm looks like a fat snake with the way its turning inside of itself like that. The muscles look way too blocky to be considered at all realistic

GORE says:
now you want the, "I might like it if..."?

GORE says:
I might like it if the figure was more evenly proportioned throughout the whole body. She seems to have a tiny skeleton for such a large body. Even if thats not what you were going for, it would still look better because the rig would be more suited to the geometry. If the rig were better suited for this alteration would could get away with such dramatic poses without the muscle geometry colliding into eachother like that. I would like it better if you added more contrasting areas to the texture such as painted highlights and shadows for the specffic geometry of the muscles. I would like it better if the muscle structure was more organic looking rather than resembling that of an xmen action figure, all blocky and what not. I would like it better if the muscles were more rounded, as previously stated. The human anatomy is intraveiniously beautiful, I feel if you studied its beauty you could acurately depict it in your work and still maintain the figure you desire for your models

GORE says:
how is that

uriel_sonia@yahoo.com says:
you know what I have to say about that

uriel_sonia@yahoo.com says:
nobodys perfect, just like you. Stop trying to be

GORE says:
Im not trying to be perfect

GORE says:
I know what could make this look better, and I told you

uriel_sonia@yahoo.com says:
I know

uriel_sonia@yahoo.com says:
and all good points

GORE says:
you cant argue that implementing the techniques I suggested would NOT make the model look better

uriel_sonia@yahoo.com says:
but remember its all in what the artists sees.









((((( it goes on and on from here, its still somewhat interesting but only for those who can appreciate such matters. I wont be at all offended if you do not wish to continue))))








GORE says:
the artist is 10 percent of the artwork

GORE says:
the viewer is the other 90

GORE says:
how the viewer sees it, is what makes the art

uriel_sonia@yahoo.com says:
wrong

GORE says:
otherwise your just doing it for yourself

GORE says:
and what did I say that entitles?

GORE says:
artistic masturbation

uriel_sonia@yahoo.com says:
wrong, wrong

GORE says:
sexplain it to me then

GORE says:
why does an artist do such things only for themselves?

uriel_sonia@yahoo.com says:
You know Vincent Van Gogh right?

GORE says:
sure

GORE says:
I'd love to hear your sexplanation involving him

uriel_sonia@yahoo.com says:
I'm not saying that I'm him, but he didn't like some of his work not because of what the
people think but of what he thought.

GORE says:
look look, I understand that concept

GORE says:
thats not what Im concerned about

uriel_sonia@yahoo.com says:
so your doing your art for other people and not yourself

GORE says:
not at all

GORE says:
actually, in a way yes

GORE says:
I guess I am

uriel_sonia@yahoo.com says:
see

GORE says:
I do art because I have a concept and I want to share it with the world

uriel_sonia@yahoo.com says:
90% is the artist

uriel_sonia@yahoo.com says:
10% is the people

GORE says:
not hardly

GORE says:
sheesh

GORE says:
Im talking about viewers, if no one sees your work, why do it

GORE says:
vincent van goh died in poverty because of this

GORE says:
so did many of the outside artists who did their work, just for themselves

uriel_sonia@yahoo.com says:
I know this

GORE says:
many artists draw and paint what they want and get recognition for it, but only because they have the viewers

uriel_sonia@yahoo.com says:
maybe because it what they saw that didn't say "This is the best I could do, for people that
love my art thank you, for people who don't that thank you also."

uriel_sonia@yahoo.com says:
see what I mean about 90% artist and 10% viewers

uriel_sonia@yahoo.com says:
your going be the final judge

GORE says:
I dont see what you mean

GORE says:
I think you could have expressed that concept better

uriel_sonia@yahoo.com says:
your the person that says "this is good stuff."

uriel_sonia@yahoo.com says:
right or wrong

GORE says:
alright

GORE says:
and how does that affect the artist in your opinion?

uriel_sonia@yahoo.com says:
make them work hard to get it better the next time, forget about what people say

uriel_sonia@yahoo.com says:
it looks good to you share it with the world, if the world doesn't like it, so what.

uriel_sonia@yahoo.com says:
you are your on best or worse critic

GORE says:
indeed

GORE says:
however

GORE says:
some people are comfortable with their style as it is

GORE says:
these are the infidels

uriel_sonia@yahoo.com says:
to people who think that they can do better yes, but if you find that person that believes in his or her own heart the they reach their limits, I call them brave and good artist

GORE says:
you dont have a creative job at sony do you?

uriel_sonia@yahoo.com says:
I work under research and development

uriel_sonia@yahoo.com says:
just an intern, but work my way up

GORE says:
alright, then you wouldnt realize how important it is to constant update one's skills. A
true artist, at least a working one, must always have their skills honed and sharp to deliver.

GORE says:
I have lost my touch with artistry on an independantly shallow self developement level

GORE says:
like a teen drawing in his books for fun

GORE says:
I dont touch on that anymore

GORE says:
I come from proffessional standards so my methods might seem a little harsh or unfamiliar

uriel_sonia@yahoo.com says:
than your one of the ones that don't have fun anymore

GORE says:
I have loads of fun

uriel_sonia@yahoo.com says:
really

GORE says:
my fun is in 2d

GORE says:
my work is in 3d

GORE says:
this is how I seperate them

GORE says:
but I can actually still find fun in the 3d

uriel_sonia@yahoo.com says:
to make thing work more simple, fun and work should go hand and hand

GORE says:
if I wasnt having fun, I would have done something else in life

uriel_sonia@yahoo.com says:
huh

uriel_sonia@yahoo.com says:
like?

GORE says:
fuck if I know

GORE says:
something involving manual labor

uriel_sonia@yahoo.com says:
oh well, I tried to let you see it my way, but I guess I can't break a person so firm in how
they were tought.

GORE says:
nor can I try to teach someone unfamiliar with such methods

GORE says:
but seriously, what did you think of the honest and in depth critique I gave of your work?

GORE says:
did you find it objective and helpful?

uriel_sonia@yahoo.com says:
I already know about everything you said about them

uriel_sonia@yahoo.com says:
and guess what

GORE says:
so why didnt you impliment them?

uriel_sonia@yahoo.com says:
they look good to me

uriel_sonia@yahoo.com says:
hehehe

GORE says:
well then your art is the art of someone who does not wish to reach their optimal potential

uriel_sonia@yahoo.com says:
plus, I've been working to fix those problem little by little before your comments.

GORE says:
either that or someone who is a terrible liar

uriel_sonia@yahoo.com says:
no, what I said it pretty much what I've been doing

GORE says:
then your doing it only to the extent you THINK you shoudl be

GORE says:
*should be

uriel_sonia@yahoo.com says:
uhhh....if you say so

GORE says:
indeed

GORE says:
enjoy yourself

uriel_sonia@yahoo.com says:
you too

uriel_sonia@yahoo.com says:
byebye

GORE says:
farewell




((((( if someone could tell me how to hide a post behind a little preview message, that would be bossinova. I wouldnt want to ruin anyone's day now, with my large post on their friends page and all.)))))

Current Mood: intuitive
Monday, August 28th, 2006
8:44 pm
The Wars of Krom - a saturday night gathering at Phil's
Saturday night was a good time to be had. Charolett and I enjoyed ourselves thoroughly in the company of all who attended the birthday bash at Phil's. The only thing I had a problem with, was getting my ass served to me by Panth's Halo s-kills. I will seek bloody satisfaction next time Panth, NEXT TIME!

The cake art was a great suprise and most impressive to behold, which was done by Mehndix. My gift from the group was a bloddy fucking shirt with a godamn zombie on it. My uteris cramped up with emotions when I beheld its beauty. Thank you Statik, and group.

Later this evening I will be uploading a couple more images which were done in regards to Katze's "fucked up shit" contest.

http://www.furaffinity.net/view/201440/
and
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/201451/


OOOOOOoooo! I also got a Wacom tablet from my Folks in celebration of my cervix passing. I cant wait to see the results from using it.

Current Mood: pensive
Tuesday, July 25th, 2006
4:34 am
Grampy, WHYYIIIEEEEE!!!???
My grandfather died last week, and now my mom is making me go to the godamn funeral. I wouldnt really mind normally but its a 9 hour drive to where my grandparents live. My immediate family is already up there. I feel sorry for my little brother as he is up there for like, a week and a half with them and other relatives, WITH NOTHING TO DO! I will be hanging around my distant relatives for four days, which is what happened last christmas and it fucking sucks because I cant relate to any of them. Their just a bunch of white collar yocals, or clean cut religious preppies. I must suffer through their ignorance and their shallow sensibilities. I HATE, let me repeat this, I HATE the idea of going up there as well. I am not only wasting my time but also the chance to keep up with various school related projects which require my computer.

I never really even liked my grandpa, so the fact I HAVE to waste my time and go out of my way to go to the funeral is pissing me off to high hell. Its a funeral! Its not like the guy is there to appreciate the fact his family is there to mourn his death. He was cremated too, so there wont even be a body to symbolize his immaginary pressence. I drive there thursday after class, and come back sunday night to make it in time for my monday morning class. GAY BALLS! This situation happens in conjunction with my always abundant amount of computer work I have to do, this shit is unbeleivable. It will be a godamn miracle if I can catch back up to class by monday with this clogging up my week.

If you want me to be gravely disapointed in you, apologize for the death of my grandpa. Apologize for the death of someone you never knew and who's absence doesnt affect you in any way other than the knowledge of his passing sticking out to through shallow social association amongst the army of dead which cross the rift each day! BE A CUNT FART (something hilarious just happened right now. Right before I typed the word *fart* in *cunt fart* my sleeping roomate RIPPED a terribly loud ass cloud. Anyway continuing with the insult....) and convey to me shallow emotions through electronic communication!

BALLS!

if there is one thing which REALLY pisses me off, its wasted efforts.

dead people suck, especially when their cremated. No fun can be had from them if their cremated!
Saturday, June 3rd, 2006
9:49 pm
reasons for being banned
all your answers can be sought here.

http://www.deviantart.com/view/34257268/

the image is a little big in size, about 1.35 megs.
It is work safe, and features vast amounts of hilarity and deep philosophical reasonings from my own mind if your really curious as to how I think.

enjoy ^^
3:30 am
BANNED
well I just got indefinately banned from deviantart today. thankfully I just started a gallery on furaffinity last week.

Current Mood: agitated... but accepting
Thursday, June 1st, 2006
11:46 pm
too much candy
My ex-roomate apparently is STILL an even bigger procrastinator than I am.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9H0k6YVU-kY

where is my beard!?

Current Mood: mexicanny, Y'know... tired
Sunday, March 26th, 2006
12:56 pm
new icon
I absolutely adore katze for providing me with an animated GIF file of one of my favourite videos. Thanks my friend. I shall most certainly abuse this thing.
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